Have you ever seen Seinfeld? What about Curb Your Enthusiasm? These iconic TV shows, written and created by comedy genius Larry David, are wildly successful and critically acclaimed despite being about. . . nothing. Okay, maybe not nothing at all, but indeed not anything in particular. Perhaps an episode would be about parking in New York City or attending a baseball game in Los Angeles. The central theme of these two programs is the awkwardness that can ensue from everyday interactions with strangers and friends. And guess what? They provide an excellent roadmap for elite college applicants penning their college essays!

Huh? How can this be? The truth is that admissions officers at highly selective colleges don’t want to be blown away by essays describing every last accomplishment, award, or life-changing experience. They don’t want to be left with whiplash after reading your application. Instead, the essays that tackle the commonplace activities of your day-to-day life as a high school student fare the best. These sorts of down-to-earth, relatable topics are much more likely to cause an admissions officer to want to root for your case than the essay that bit off more than it could chew and alienate its readers.

You’ve come to the right place to review how to write knockout essays about nothing. Not your service trip to Guatemala. Not how a significant athletic loss taught you a lifelong lesson. And not, we’re begging you, about how your relationship with your grandparents improved your life. It’s all been done before! But you know what hasn’t? Your experiment at the science fair, the observations you make while walking your dog, or perhaps the time you met a man at the soup shop who was very hard on his customers!

Your Singular Admissions Hook is the Best Topic

It’s not the 1980s anymore. Well-rounded students are the bane of college admissions officers. Instead, the students who have distinguished themselves through a singular admissions hook are the most competitive when applying to places like the University of Chicago and Dartmouth College. Your singular hook is how you seek to change the world in an often small, particular, and unique way through your passion, cause, or discipline. Say you pioneered an electronics recycling program in your small town. Or you may have even started an art gallery for marginalized artists in your community. 

None of these examples of a singular hook are the all-encompassing, nationally-recognized sorts of accomplishments that some students think they need to write about to get into a top school. They’re quite the opposite: relatively mundane topics about how you made the world better by focusing on what you know in the place you call home. So when we at Ivy Coach say colleges want to see essays about nothing on your application, we mean essays that address a goal within reach. No, “I want to fix climate change.” Instead: “I want to help reduce greenhouse gasses at my school.”

Why College Essays About Nothing

Regarding supplemental essays on your application, including those that ask, “Why this institution in particular?” the same rules apply. Making grandiose claims about what you plan to do on your future campus runs the risk of sounding generic and disingenuous. Do you want to “dive into a community of like-minded individuals like no other?” You and everyone else (side note: our students at Ivy Coach prefer to surround themselves with people who think differently to challenge their perspectives)! What will wow admissions officers is writing about how you will apply for a specific fellowship to participate in ongoing research into a niche field in which your future academic department has already specialized. That shows that you’ve done your research!

What to Do If You Have Nothing to Write About

Despite what teenage coming-of-age movies would have you believe, not everyone has a fantastic story about their perseverance in the face of adversity. Sometimes, you don’t go on adventures of a lifetime while in high school. And sometimes, inspiration simply does not strike. If you find yourself with nothing to write about this admissions cycle, rejoice! You’re halfway there to a highly competitive set of essays.

Now, all you need to do is comb through your extracurriculars, activities, and passions. What stands out? The best essays have a compelling narrative that ties everything together. As long as you avoid one of the six third-rail essay topics that will all but kill your chances of getting into an elite school, your mundane essay about an everyday occurrence will pull on more heartstrings than you think! Even if you have to assemble a few unrelated activities together into a semblance of a singular hook, admissions officers will appreciate your modest and realistic approach.

So, reflect on the time you got your first part-time job. Describe that one science project that wowed your teacher. Wax rhapsodic about your love for your local ecosystem. No need to reinvent the wheel. Just be sure to tie it all back to the highly specific and deeply meaningful way you will change the world armed with your future college education! 

Ivy Coach’s Assistance with College Essays About Nothing

It might go without saying, but writing college essays about nothing is easier said than done. Fortunately, Ivy Coach’s team of former elite college admissions officers is here to help you do this! We coach our clients out of bragging and boasting into writing the most competitive college essays possible!

If you’re interested in optimizing your child’s odds of admission to a highly selective college, fill out our complimentary consultation form and we’ll be in touch.