We’ve all met them — the parent who drones on about their child’s mathematical brilliance, or the parent who boasts about their child’s fast swim times, or the parent who can’t stop talking about their child’s perfect SAT and AP scores. These parents are everywhere, and they’re equally intolerable, no matter their child’s story.

Some Parents Have Unreasonable Expectations About Their Children Navigating Admissions

When these same parents navigate the highly selective college admissions process, it’s not surprising that many have unreasonable expectations for their children. It could be that their child has no 5s, a few 4s on AP exams, and wants to go to Harvard. Or the child presents as well-rounded in their activities rather than singularly focused. Or perhaps their child comes across as unlikable as their parent when likability is critical in the elite college admissions process. 

Several years ago, there was a piece in The Washington Post by Susan Svrluga on these unreasonable types of parents. And since parents haven’t changed, what she wrote then is just as relevant today:

“You need to assume, right now, that your child is not getting into Harvard no matter what he or she does. (And no, he’s not getting into Stanford either, or Yale, or Dartmouth, or MIT. Probably not UC Berkeley, either. No, I’m not kidding.) Your kid isn’t getting into the college you think he or she is. What? So-and-so’s child is at Princeton right now? And got what on his SATs? And did those activities? Hmmm. Interesting. Sure, you can prove me wrong with some examples. And I can prove myself right with a hundred more. Stanford’s rate of admission was below 5 percent last year. Do the math.”

High-Expectation Parents Need To Be Given Their Medicine

We agree with Ms. Svrluga — some of these unreasonable parents do need to be told that their children aren’t getting into the likes of Harvard, Stanford, Yale, Dartmouth, or MIT. Some parents absolutely need to be given their medicine because if they waste their child’s Early card by having them apply to an impossible reach in the Early Action/Decision round, they’ll not only never get that card back, but then their child won’t get into the reach school that might have been possible had they applied their Early instead.

However, some students will get into Harvard, Stanford, Yale, Dartmouth, or MIT. At Ivy Coach, we help students earn admission to these highly competitive institutions every year, schools they would unlikely earn admission to without our help. But even for our strongest candidates, we’ll never tell them we think they have a fantastic chance — and we’ll never promise as much. All we at Ivy Coach can do is optimize their case for admission. And our firm’s track record, built over the last 30+ years, speaks for itself.

Ivy Coach Underpromises and Overdelivers in College Admissions

Our ethos at Ivy Coach has remained the same for over three decades: under-promise and over-deliver. First, we don’t “chance” our students. After all, any percentage chance of admission that a college counselor gives a student isn’t worth the paper it’s written on since no such percentage chance exists. Second, our students always apply to a reach school in the Early round — they always take a risk. After all, parents are not paying Ivy Coach’s fees to help their children earn admission to safety schools.

But because we shoot it straight with our parents from the jump and never overpromise and often overdeliver, we find we can even help some unreasonable parents achieve their dreams. And by their dreams, we mean their children’s dreams. Freudian slip?